Parental Information During Our Kids Adolescence, Part 1

October 8, 2012

The adolescence of our children is a time of wondrous change and growth. These years, however, because of the critical changes taking place physically, socially, psychologically and academically, may be fraught with difficulties.

As parents we need to be on hand to help and support our kids through these changes. Some of the questions we can reflect on might be: Do you remember your own adolescence? How was it for you? Do all youngsters feel that adults do not understand them? How do you, the parent, react to your adolescent’s sometimes exaggerated behavior?

Adolescence is the time during which human beings experience more change than they will during any other period of their life. These changes are physical, emotional, social and psychological. Almost all “exaggerated” and “misunderstood” behavior of the teenager (or younger child) may be explained by one of these changes.

Let’s talk about these four areas: 1. Physically — Adolescents experience a hormonal imbalance, which produces drastic changes in their moods. They themselves sometimes do not understand the reasons for these changes. 2. Socially — They have a strong need to feel accepted and to belong. To them their friends acceptance is often more important than the opinion or wishes of their parents. 3. Emotionally — They are vulnerable because they are formulating their self-identity. This makes them sensitive to criticism both from parents and from peers. Lastly — and this is probably the hardest fact for parents to accept — from the psychological point of view, the teenager is working toward independence. He or she needs to “break away” from parental tutelage in order to become an independent adult later on. Questions like “Who am I?” “What do I really want?” are some questions teens ask of themselves. All this happens during the adolescent years between the ages of 11 and 20, and sometimes a bit later depending on the child. Their parents understanding, affirming presence, and consistent and firm guidance are of vital importance for teenagers to emerge as strong, capable, loving and independent adults.

Parents have already noticed manipulation and attempts by their teen to control. This is a definite “control tool” that they use.

Even though they claim to know — or would like to think that they know — exactly what they want, the truth is that often feel that their life is out of control.

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