Health Blog

On Christmas Eve, 1991, she sold her first novel, “Fallen Angel.” She says the most difficult part of her job as an author is writing the love scenes. “I have to tell myself, ‘Francis, just sit down and do it,’” she says. “My love scenes don’t happen right away in my books. You might read for 200 pages or so before you’ll get it. My books are about relationships and you can’t make a relationship on sex — that’s only a part of it. My characters do a lot of caring and communicating. They demonstrate their commitment before they’re intimate because you can’t have intimacy without trust.

“People ask me all the time, ‘Francis, how do I know if this is the right man for me?’” says Ray. “Well, love is a walk of faith. For a relationship to work you’ve got to put the other person’s interests first — it’s all about giving. And there’s got to be trust. You’ve got to know when you roll over in bed, he’ll be there. When you’re upset, the sound of his voice will calm you down. Those kinds of relationships exist. And when you’ve got that, no matter what happens, you’ll cling together.”

Marlene Bellan, 32, a third-grade teacher in New York City, agrees. She says she wasn’t really looking for romance in a relationship. She was looking for honesty and sincerity — but she got all three in her fiance, Craig, 34.

She says Craig often surprises her with random acts of caring like getting up early to make breakfast for her on the weekend and having a special tourmaline ring made for her birthday.

“He really has his moments,” she says. Like the way he proposed to her.

“We went shopping together and picked out my engagement ring but he didn’t give it to me right away,” she recalls. Instead, he proposed to her on a special date. “We went for a horse-and-carriage ride in Central Park, then he took me to the place we met and from there he took me on a tour of all the places we’d gone on dates. It was very romantic.

“I wouldn’t say he’s romantic all the time,” she says. “So when he does something really sweet, it’s very meaningful. Flowers and gifts are great but they’re not a substitute. I think some men figure if they do the superficial stuff that women expect, then they won’t have to do the real thing. I never took anyone seriously until Craig. But with him I found honesty, sincerity and real friendship. I trust him with my soul. He’s the person I want to grow old with.”

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Wellness by Candice